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發信人: yeta (不再當米蟲了!!)    看板:me88-1
日期: Fri Aug 14 13:29:27 1998
標題: 世界末日45事
來源: 中山大學 Formosa BBS Client


發信人: magine (天底下有白吃的午餐)    看板: movies
日期: Tue Aug 11 18:00:01 1998
標題: 世界末日45事
來源: E-Mail Post


以下文章原為英文 (作者: M. Stanley Bubien),
由台大椰林站 supp, MaraJade, hpaa, LucasArt, gump 等人翻譯.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
內容大約都是批判"世界末日"的, 不喜歡看的人跳過去不要看好了.

The Top 45 Things I Learned from the Movie "Armageddon."
        by M. Stanley Bubien
        我從電影"世界末日"中學到的四十五件事:

45. Golf balls are an effective deterrent against Greenpeace weenies.
        高爾夫球是對抗綠色和平的有效方法.

44. Even though your asteroid is rotating wildly on 3 axes, you always
        have a perfect view of the Eastern seaboard of the United States.
        儘管流星在三個軸向空間中狂野地旋轉著, 但你總還是能夠
        完美地見到美國東海岸.

43. The best way an American can gain the trust of the Chinese is to
        drench them with crude oil.  Thumbs up Yankee!
        美國人能夠贏得中國人信任的最好方法就是讓他們泡在原油
        堶. 幹得好, 美國佬!

42. The USA rules.
        美國主導一切.
        (譯註)說得白話點, 美國統治地球.

41. In a disaster movie, it's okay to chop a salesman into two pieces,
        but never ever let the cute little doggy get a scratch.
        在一部災難電影, 可以把一個業務員切成兩段, 但絕對不
        可以讓那隻可愛的小狗受到一點小小的擦傷.

40. When parked on an asteroid, low gravity situations never apply to you
        when you're inside the Space Shuttle.
        當你駕著太空梭降落在流星上時, 低重力的情況不會發生在
        你身上.

39. When on the asteroid's surface, low gravity situations never apply to
        the equipment you brought with you---unless you need to leap over
        a giant canyon.
        當在流星表面時, 低重力的情況絕對不會對你帶的裝備產生作用--
        --除非你需要跳過一個大峽谷.

38. When crashing a Space Shuttle into a low gravity asteroid, you plow
        into the ground and break apart without bouncing one single time or
        losing any equipment into space---even if you are travelling faster
        than the asteroid's escape velocity.
        當一艘太空梭摔到一個低重力環境的流星上, 你能夠讓太空
        梭犛過地面而不彈起來任何一次, 而且太空梭撞得亂七八糟
        後還能夠不損失任何一樣裝備----甚至於你的撞擊速度還高
        過那顆小行星的脫離速度.
        (譯註)一旦太空梭的速度超過小行星的脫離速度, 太空梭將
        會脫出小行星的重力控制範圍, 就如同它可以飛上太空的原
        因正是因為太空梭的發射速度超過了地球的脫離速度.

37. Your thrusters always push you down, even if you are spinning out of
        control and they're spraying in all different directions.
        你的火箭推力總是把你拉向下, 儘管你已經失去控制到處亂
        轉而且噴嘴是往四面八方散去.

36. "Laughing With" vs. "Laughing At": When Steve Buscemi delivers a
        line, that's "Laughing With";  When Bruce Willis delivers a line,
        that's "Laughing At."
        「好笑」和「可笑」:
        當 Steve Buscemi(本片真正最搶眼的角色)說話時,那很好笑;
        但是當布魯斯威利說話時,那很可笑。
        這是嘲笑布魯斯威利沒有喜劇天份和訓練。

35. Eleven minutes at 8 Gs isn't all that bad.  Sure you complain a little,
        but your loose facial muscles never bend back from the force, your
        lips don't turn white from blood drainage, and you have no trouble
        remaining completely conscious the whole time. You are, after all,
        one of the best damn oil rig workers in the South China Sea!
        承受十一分鐘的8G力不總是壞的. 你鬆弛的臉部肌肉從不會被這股力量弄歪,
        你的嘴唇不會因為失血而變白, 而且在這段期間內你還可以完全保持清醒.
        畢竟你是南中國海最棒的鑽油工人嘛!
        (譯註)普通的戰鬥機飛行員大約只能承受三十秒左右的9G,
        能撐個兩三分鐘還不暈過去的飛行員是the best of the best
        (Top Gun).臺灣最恐怖的雲霄飛車的最大瞬間G 力大約只有
        到4G而已, 以上數據僅提供參考.

34 (tie). Fire will burn in a vacuum.
        火燄會在真空中燃燒!
        (譯註)既然是真空則無氧氣, 沒有氧氣如何燃燒?

34 (tie). Sound will travel in a vacuum.
        聲音會在真空中傳播!
        (譯註)真空中沒有氣體, 所以聲音無法傳播.

33. Not only can a Space Shuttle dock while flying loops around a
        rotating space station, *two* can do it at the same time.
        不只是一架太空梭能夠一邊繞著圈圈靠泊在一個正旋轉中的
        太空站旁, 兩架也能同時作到!

32. All hail the USA.
      **所有人祝福美國.
        (譯註)hail這個字有很多意思, 想要了解此句, 請查hail動詞的意義.
      **hail還有一陣雹撞擊的意思. 看過電影就知道,
        怎麼一開始的小石塊都撞到美國了.

31. Explosive decompression and near-absolute zero temperatures never
        apply to the human body.
        爆炸性的減壓和近乎絕對零度的溫度不會對人體產生作用.
        (譯註)絕對零度是攝氏零下兩百七十三度.

30. Planet killer asteroid coming?  Hide in your cellar!
      **能夠毀滅行星的小行星來了嗎? 快躲在地窖中!
      **這點實在是沒什麼好非議的. 人總要作點什麼吧?
        是我大概也會去躲在地窖; 或跑上高山.

29. NASA will let any untrained bozo go into space without giving an
        argument---if he happens to be one of the best damn oil rig workers
        in the South China Sea!
        美國太空總署將會無異議地讓一個未受訓練的傢伙登上太空
        ----只要他是在南海上最佳的鑽油工人.

28. A surface detonation will have no effect on an incoming asteroid.
        But shoving a nuke into a hole drilled 0.03% of the way into its
        solid iron crust will split that baby right in two!
        在小行星表面的引爆將不會有任何作用, 但是將一枚核彈擠
        進一個深僅0.03% 地殼厚度的洞引爆, 卻能夠把寶貝小行星
        炸成兩塊.

27. Prior to the giant planet killer asteroid, several hundred smaller
        ones travelling on the exact same trajectory always precede it,
        giving us ample warning by striking the Earth 3 weeks ahead of
        time even though we're in a totally different position in our orbit.
      **在這巨大的殺手級小行星前, 數百顆同樣軌道的小碎片總是
        領先它, 在三個星期前給予人類充份的預警時間, 儘管地球
        還在撞擊軌道前的位置上.
        (譯註)既然這些碎片和小行星是同一軌道, 而且它們還飛在
        小行星之前, 所以它們根本不可能撞上地球.
      **最後一句直譯成: 僅管這兩個時間我們在完全不同的軌道位置上.

26. When it's your only chance to save the planet, NASA will make sure
        your first pit stop is with a broken-down Russian space station.
        當你僅有一次機會來拯救地球時, 美國太空總署將會把你的
        第一個維修站設在一個正在解體中的俄羅斯太空站.
        (譯註)俄羅斯太空站將在1999年被放棄.

25. Massive iron rocks colliding with your Shuttle at faster than the speed
        of sound will not penetrate the titanium hull, but bullets will.
        巨大的鐵質石塊以超音速撞上太空梭時不會貫穿鈦質機身, 但是子彈就成.

24. A father is always surprised to find his daughter in bed with the only
        eligible bachelor her age within 1000 miles, especially when said
        bachelor is good looking and a really nice guy to boot.
        (譯註)意義同15.

23. In a planet killer situation, NASA's biggest concern next to worldwide
        rioting is religious hysteria---the last thing we need when faced
        with the extinction of all life on the planet as we know it is
        people falling onto their knees and quietly praying.
      **在這麼一個地球毀滅的狀況下, 美國太空總署除了關心全球
        性的暴亂外還有宗教性的歇斯底里----這是我們最後才需要
        的事----在面對全球性的滅絕時, 人們跪下且安靜的祈禱.
        (譯註)以上這段話是作者的認知, 與譯者無關.
      **這句是說 NASA 多管閒事不務正業啦!不專心想辦法解決問題,還在那邊請
        大家祈禱。是在諷刺 NASA 啦,納稅人繳那麼多錢是請他們運用專業知識解
        決問題,結果他們在那邊當起神父來了。這句提到的世界暴動跟前面的那鍋
        躲到地窖裡是相呼應的,因為知道世界末日到了,應該會有很多人開始發瘋
        四處暴動,打家劫舍的,反正馬上大家就要死了嘛;可是本片的世界人民都
        很「認份」的,表現出驚恐然後專心祈禱。不是說這樣做有錯,只是大家都
        這樣做就很奇怪了。
        其實這片我是當成類似「機飛總動員」那種片來看,這樣就覺得又好看又好
        笑了..^_^

22. Paris sucked anyway.
      **反正巴黎很爛, 電影中被炸掉也不必惋惜.
      **巴黎去死吧
        這也是我看完的感想...為什麼大家都沒事巴黎卻毀了?
        不由得懷疑是不是拍電影的人對巴黎有意見

21. U.-S.-A. All The Way.
        總是美國美國, 美國個不停.
        (譯註)大美國主義的意思.

20. Animal crackers are an effective on-screen substitute for sex.
        Animal crackers 是動物餅乾, 劇情的一部分
        Bruce的女兒與片中的男友利用動物調情
        (在配I don't wanna miss a thing時)

19. No matter how stupid or life-threatening they might be, always go
        with your instincts---especially at the end of the movie.
      **不管他們有多笨或者是遭遇到多大的生命威脅, 總是按著直
        覺行動就是了----特別是在電影的結尾處.
      **不管這些決定有多荒謬、關係著多少人的生命,絕對要靠著你的直覺來行事。
        --尤其是在電影結尾處。

18. Shuttle about to crash on an asteroid?  If you're a passenger, go
        into the wide cargo bay and don't strap yourself in.
        太空梭將要降落在小行星上了嗎? 假如你是乘客, 在進入寬
        大的貨艙後不要把安全帶繫上.

17. Shuttle about to crash on an asteroid?  If you're the pilot do not
        for any reason whatsoever put your space suit's helmet on.
        太空梭將要降落在小行星上了嗎? 假如你是飛行員, 那麼不
        管任何理由都不要把飛行衣的頭盔戴上.

16. When you're on an asteroid and you need to leap over a giant canyon and
        clear the towering spires on the opposite slope, drive off a flat
        surface and turn your thrusters off.
        當你在小行星上,而必須飛躍一道大峽谷並閃避對面聳立的石柱時,請從平臺
        上衝下並關掉推進器。
        這是說電影裡「飛越大峽谷」的情節,事實上因為低重力又沒有空氣阻力的關
        係,應該是直接衝過去就好了,但是電影裡還把推進器打開,而且開了很久,
        這樣應該會根本無法下降直接飛走才對。

15. A father always hates it when the one nice, clean-cut and respectable
        guy on the rig falls in love with his daughter, especially when he
        loves the guy like a son.
        一個父親總是會討厭一個盛裝打伴, 優秀年輕有為的人愛上
        他的女兒, 特別是他將他視之為子時.

14. Trevor Rabin needs to leave the movie industry and return to playing
        lead guitar for the Rock band Yes, and so does Bruce Willis.
        (譯註)涉及人身攻擊者不便翻譯.

13. Men who are overweight, out-of-shape and untrained can handle the rigors
        of weightlessness, cramped quarters and extended periods at heavy
        Gs, but the guy with two Phds always suffers from Space Dementia.
        一個超重, 身材走樣, 沒有訓練的人可以在嚴苛的無重力狀態
        下, 狹窄的地方和長時間的超G 情況下發揮作用. 但擁有兩
        個博士學位的人像得了太空癡呆症.

12. To create 1G of artificial gravity, a 21 foot diameter space station
        only needs to spin at 2 RPMs, rather than the 228 RPMs that all
        known laws of physics seem to require.
        要產生1G正常的人工重力, 直徑是二十一呎的太空站只需要
        每分鐘轉個兩圈, 而不是兩百二十八圈.

11. Shotguns shoot bullets, not shot.
        散彈槍發射子彈, 而非散彈.

10. Concerned about the bottom line?  Don't waste any money on
        inconsequential things like story line and technical consultants--
        just make damn sure you hire the best director of TV commercials
        you can find.
      **想要賺更多錢嗎? 不要浪費任何錢在微不足道的事上, 像是
        編劇和技術顧問上, 只要確定你雇用了你能找到的最佳電視
        廣告導演就成了.
      **來源: 導演麥克可貝本來是從事電視廣告導演, 轉型到電影導演後仍用了
        電視廣告那種美得有點虛浮很商業的手法來拍電影, 有影評還說這部電影
        是一部長達兩個小時半的啤酒廣告, 而不是電影, 所以他這段的諷刺也是
        有這個味道.

9. When a Russian Cosmonaut places you in the deepest recesses of his
        space station and tells you to watch the pressure gauge in case it
        overloads, run for your life immediately.
        當一個俄羅斯太空人把你帶到他們太空站的最深處, 告訴你
        要注意壓力計的負載時, 為了你的生命著想, 最好是立即跑
        掉.

8. A 250 lb. man flying off an asteroid at a velocity of 40 ft./sec. can
        be effectively stopped by a 175 lb. man grabbing his life-line and
        tugging with all his strength---don't worry, the 175 lb. man will
        never be pulled helplessly into space even though he is not tethered
        to anything himself.
        一個重達兩百五十磅以秒速四十呎飛掠過小行星表面時, 可
        以被一個一百七十五磅重的人用人力抓住他的生命線而停止
        下來----別擔心那個一百七十五磅重的人會被拖進太空中,
        雖然他沒有把自己綁在任何東西上.

7. Planet killer asteroids heal parent-child relationships better than
        any psychologist ever could.
        殺手級小行星可以比任何一個心理醫師更能治療親子關係.

6. "Deep Impact": good Science Fiction. "Armageddon": bad Science Fiction.
        慧星撞地球: 好的科幻故事. 世界末日: 壞的科幻故事.

5. Thank God the Cold War's over because those crazy Ruskies can sure be
        handy to have around---give one a hammer and he can fix anything.
        感謝神讓冷戰結束. 因為我們可以使喚那些瘋狂的俄羅斯
        人----只要給他一把榔頭他可以修訂任何東西.

4. Hoo-Ray for the USA.
        美國萬歲!

3. Though it lopes through the atmosphere like an overstuffed 747, when
        you get it into space, the Shuttle maneuvers exactly like an F/A-18
        fighter jet.
        雖然它在大氣中飛行時像是一架笨重的波音七四七, 但是
        一到了太空後, 太空梭的運動就像是一架F/A-18戰鬥機.

2. Every oil drill needs a gatlin' gun!
        每一個鑽油人需要一挺格特林機槍!

1. Yes, some people will pay $7.50 to see a stinking pile of crap.

##################
1024 Words.
Copyright 1998, M. Stanley Bubien.

The author(s) hereby *grant* the right to electronically distribute
this work via e-mail, ftp, and/or usenet news for non-profit purposes
provided the story, title, authorship, and copyright (including this
notice) remain in their original form, without modification or deletion.

In other words, you can e-mail it, ftp it, post it, or put it on a Web
Site for free.  Just make sure you (1) don't change the story and you
(2) include the above Copyright notice.

(譯註)允許在電子媒體上轉貼, 但不得更改內容,
這段原文的版權聲明亦不能被砍掉.



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                  我說你在這裡會找到快樂與成長的!!
                         Just  do  it !!


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